For the health of it...

Ta da, this is the 100th episode of virtual buck's blog.

The death of my old pal really got me thinking and prompted this blog enter. I was thinking about my health today as I was soaking in the hot tub in the beautiful clear 15 degree sunny morn, when I noticed the band aids still on my knees, each with a dime sized spot of dried blood, from the sites of the cortisol injections. Cortisol shots into inflamed joints are famous, it seems pitchers are always getting shot up in the shoulders to enable them to finish the season, and I certainly have heard about getting the shots in the knees-- and on Friday I found out first hand what it was like. Ten cc's into each knee, with a big long needle. It did not hurt at all, but it was very weird. The pressure of the injection as the fluid engulfed the space between the knee bones was an odd sensation. But the effects of the cortisol were unexpected. At midnight I was so wide-awake I felt wired out of my mind! I lay in bed reading until 2 AM finishing the last 100 pages of John Irving's "Last Night at Twisted River" and then with the lights out, lay under my eye pillow with my ear phones in, completely awake, refractory to all attempts to lure my surging thoughts to a sleepy place. Instead I designed the patio, the koi pond, the terraced garden, the rose bed-- and then began to harvest the downed wood in the forest figuring out where to stack it, deciding to rent a splitter then stack and split.... wow, that stuff was great!

When I got up on Saturday it was as though I had new knees. I am encouraged to begin rehab. Queue Amy Winehouse-- "they tried to get me to go to rehab but I said, no, no,no.... he's tried to make me go to rehab, but I won't go, go, go..." until now. I successfully rehabbed in fall 2004 after I suffered a stress fracture in my left knee and managed to run the Denver Marathon. But last spring after skiing for four days in BC, I just haven't been the same. Now not being able to run marathons is one thing, but not being able to ski? Forget that. So, now that we've moved, and have settled into our new life in Carbondale, I decided to see if I could get some help for my arthritic meniscus eroded old knees. I had to find a doc to get my eye med Rx refilled, so I visited the Family Practice clinic at SIU med and had an all purpose visit. Nice young Doctor, first year Resident took care of my Rx and then gave me the once over. I asked about collagen injections when he observed the crepitation in my knee-- so he gave me a referral to SI orthopedic clinic. I mentioned the new mole on my shoulder and when the resident consulted with attending physician they were almost giddy to see the perfect example of basal cell carcinoma had had sprouted. Oh, nothing to worry about, the most common form of bening skin cancer, completely treatable and easily removed. So a second referal, to the SI Derm Clinic.

I was actually feeling rather poorly when I visited the doctor, as though I was coming down with a cold--which progressed to a dose of the flu over the last week of the 2009-- what a way to end a sick decade-- sick. We stayed close to home for the holidays and in the time off I was able to recuperate from the flu, and visit the Derm. Dr. Burke a recent graduate from the Derm residency at SIU and an MD from UIC, we established a great rapport and he agreed with the diagnosis-- but took a biopsy to satisfy the insurance requirement. Diagnosis confirmed so a few days after Christmas I had the growth surgically removed. I was surprised to find out how much the minor surgery took out of me, I was in a bit of pain, but more so, I felt spent by the procedure. I recovered in a day or so except for the itching stitches. So, finally, Friday, the day of my visit to the orthopedic clinic, I also got to get my stitches removed.

My visit to the orthopod started with Xrays of my knees. I had a detailed discussion with Dr Wood who then probed my knees. When I told him I had run 21 marathons he congratulated me while he cranked my clicking knee around. We looked at the Xrays and he showed me the osteo-athritic ostiophytes and how little space remained between the plates. We discussed treatment plans. His goal is to avoid or delay knee replacement. So I am scheduled for Supartz or Synvisc injections of hyaluronan-- one injection should last for about 6 months, and it is expected to prevent knee pain and give me some mobility back. But to be sure that the insurance will pay for this, first I had to have the cortisol injections, 3 months of physical therapy 3 times per week, and I have to take high dose NSAID to reduce the inflammation. Wow, they are going for it. Let's get your knees better. I had not anticipated getting injected with cortisol or the resulting phsychoactivation. Also, I hadn't expected to be plunged into a vigorous new physical therapy routine.

Perfect timing actually. As I ponder the death of my friend, who was precisely my age, my thoughts turn to my own health and longevity. The last time I saw Matt in 2002, he picked me up at the airport in KC and drove me to Lawrence for a visit. I was shocked to see the bloated 300 pound man who looked like death warmed over-- his booming voice greeted me as he remarked that I looked like a marathon runner. This when I felt fat and was in a lull in my running, but my 230 was slim by comparison,though I was approaching my all time high weight. While I was gaining control and losing weight, he continued to gain. By the time he died on New Year's Eve 2009, under the blue moon, the last full moon of the decade, he weighed over 400 pounds. Death no longer warmed over. The control I lost in the last year during the transition and then the move to Carbondale I now regain. The regimentation and time I will have to devote to rehab under the guidance of the PT at the orthopedic clinic will necessarily help me to establish a new routine. I told the doc I really missed running-- a lot, but I was enjoying bicycling and rowing. He told me that "if it was my passion, I could probably run, but it would hasten my time to knee replacement." Yikes. OK, how about walking? The Synvisc will really help with that. How about skiing? OK, I will do the rehab, limit my running and save my knees for skiing once I build myself backup to it. I guess I better be sure to wear sun screen. Losing a few pounds will help the old knees too. OK, rehab, just for the health of it.

He's Gone

All that's left to do is smile, smile, smile.... Heard the news late last night that my old buddy Matthew Thomas Moore passed away on New Year's Eve, under the bright light of the blue moon, that last full moon of the first decade of the 21st Century. I queued the song in my mind, He's Gone, from Europe 72, that seminal Grateful Dead album of the same year-- the year I heard the Grateful Dead live for the first time, and 5 years before I met the old Hip-eye, as he was affectionately known. The lyrics of that song ring true:

Going where the wind don't blow so strange
Maybe on some high cold mountain range
Lost one round but the price wasn't anything
Knife in a back and more of the same
Same old rat in a drain ditch
Out on a limb
You know better but I know him

Now he's gone
Lord he's gone
Like a steam locomotive rolling down the track
He's gone
He's gone
and nothin's gonna bring him back
He's gone....

http://artsites.ucsc.edu/GDead/agdl/gone.html

The same song I sang when my father died, when my dogs Don Diego and Leon died, or when my brother Scott died-- when they all die-- tragic early deaths of lives cut short, or lives lived fully until old age or disease robs them from us. Death always puts our own fragile lives in crystal clear perspective. Life is the most precious thing but often death is a blessing. Matthew was a unique man, the deepest most booming voice who could be heard above the sound of a jet airplane taking off. A larger than life character who was there for the journey, not where it was suppose to take him. It brings back many memories of our time together when we were in our twenties, the most formative time of one's life. Our live's have taken very different trajectories, and his lead him to his untimely death. 56 years old is way too young do die. We were the same age, yet I feel like I am in my prime and my biggest and most important work is still ahead of me. I do not believe that Matthew felt like he had "his work" no Dharma to guide him, he just was. He lived for the moment and the moment has passed. Rest in peace my old friend. You have gone where the winds don't blow so strange.

Matthew Thomas Moore, 11/12/1953-12/31-2009.

2010

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade. 2009 and the first decade of the 21st century are now history and most would say good riddance! Last year was a very challenging one as we watched the economy worsen. But it was absolutely a wonderful year for the Hales. We packed up and moved from Oak Park to Carbondale into a great new house and actually finally managed to sell our old house-- over 80 showings and 3 contracts in the six months it was on the market. The intensity of the whole house sale business is a now a fading memory. I spent nearly six months working on the house getting it ready to sell and then watched the sale price erode as the housing market crashed. But the story had a happy ending. The previous owners of our Carbondale home had also gone to great lengths to get the house ready to sell and it was in perfect shape-- nothing needed to be done, except landscaping, and that we GET to do and at our own pace. There were a lot of improvements in houses built in 1994 compared to 1913, like closets, bathrooms, insulation, etc. We just love our new home, perched on the edge of the woods, secluded but just 4 miles from work. Ryder misses his old neighborhood, living in crowded old Oak Park with 200 kids within 1/2 mile of the house, but he likes his school so much more than the public school in Oak Park. Even though the resources at the New School are scant compared to Lincoln school, it is such a richer environment in so many ways, especially the wonderful teachers and like minded group of parents. So the big move was a very positive development in 2009.

Starting our new jobs has been really great too-- though demanding, challenging, and nearly overwhelming at times, I am really enjoying my new job as Chairman. Talk about on the job learning-- hoo-yah! And the opportunity for Karen in her new job on the tenure track faculty, her own lab and now in a position to make her mark in science. SIU is a like a big family and seemingly we are among the elite. It is a very easy place to work and while not insulated from the politics of academia, the feeling here is so much better than UIC. The longer I was there the worse it got to the point it was toxic, hostile and stifling. Not my colleagues, not my students, but the departmental and administrative politics were awful. I am so happy to be free of that now, and feel equal to the challenge of facing the same challenges that my Chair at UIC faced. I think my honeymoon has officially ended as the school year came to a crashing end. These are tough times and Illinois is in dire straits. I was never involved in state level politics and only worried about whether the CTA would keep running. Now I am acutely aware of what goes on in Springfield, how the State is reluctantly releasing only the minimal amount of funds to barely keep SIU going-- all political posturing and brinkmanship. It is rather daunting to be put in the position that SIU is in because the state comptroller Dan Hynes is running for Governor and trying to make the current Govenor look bad. Quinn still gets my vote, he is trying to do the right thing but is held hostage, as are we, by the looming election and politicos trying to gain advantage. Taxes have to be raised! But that is off subject here-- yes, 2009 was a challenging year for the economy, for the job and housing sectors, but we came through in a much better position than we were in at the end of 2008 by far! It is humbling to consider, in fact, how well we are doing as many around us are not faring so well. But all agree that 2010 is going to be a much better year and this new decade has to be better than the last. We have a president with vision, integrity, and the will to make things better. He inherited one hell of a mess, the full brunt of which now being realized under his watch, but not by his doing. The party of NOPE is doing all that it can to prevent us from moving forward-- but I have not lost faith in Obama, and time will tell. Bush will not only emerge as the worst president of the 21st century, but as the worst of all time. And I predict, Obama will emerge as the most important, on a par with FDR and JFK.

As the new year dawns bright and cold in Carbondale, I join the ranks of the neo-resolutionists. I found it very difficult to get my real work done as I adjusted to the challenges of being Chair and teaching for one of my faculty who was on sabbatical. The teaching was an excellent experience and it really helped me learn my way around the curriculum and our department's teaching mission. Now I turn the full force of my attention to my research-- grants and papers, and of course--data. I have a great new crew in the Cardondale edition of the Hales lab, but really need a post-doc to propel the research effort back to where I was at this time last year. So the resolve to move the research forward is not new, but reinvigorated with the change of the year. I absolutely believe my best and most important work is still ahead of me.

Another challenge that my new job has brought is figuring out how to get my workout in. I was making good progress getting to the gym and rowing on the erg and riding my bicycle to work. When the teaching and frenetic administrative work overwhelmed me in early October I struggled to keep up the effort, and was thwarted by the rain. Wimp! Coward! yeah, right. My bicycle buddies in Chicago are riding still, if not on their ride to work , but on their trainers in spin class. This is my new resolve-- get off my butt and get to the gym, get on my bike and ride, take a vinyasa yoga class-- fight the battle of bulge. I've regained half of the big weight I lost and it stops now! Yeah, there is that resolve. So I join the other 350 million neo-resoutionists whom I always scoffed at when they flooded into the January gym. I have no choice, I have to begin again.

One last thought about how great 2009 was and what we look forward to in 2010 and the 2nd decade of the 21st century. Zelda. The new Weimaranar, the next generation. Cooper is with us still and though he is in his decline, Zelda has breathed new life into the old guy. These grays are wonderful dogs, and so alike in so many ways. They are particularly huggable and very loving. Mirabel loves having a new friend and is a puppy again. She is so sweet and lovable, but her body language is so different from the gray dogs. A coiled coil vs the languorous love dog. We are blessed to have these wonderful dogs in our life and though we know Cooper is near his end, we are so happy to have his imprint on Zelda, who just loves that big old boy so much. Ah, yes, life is good and its going to be even better this year and this decade for sure.