25 years later, still looking back

The Wall

I had occasion to be in Washington DC over the weekend, and finished my work early Sunday morning, so I took a long walk from my hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue, all the way past the White House to the Mall. As it turned out, Sunday was not only Veteran's Day, it was the 25th anniversary of The Wall-- the Viet Nam War Memorial. There was a big ceremony planned and the closer I got the Wall, the more Viet Nam vets I saw. By the time I got to the Lincoln Memorial, I saw some 10,000 vets gathered for the festivities. What struck me most was the look of these grizzled vets. We all sport the same fashion-- beard and gray pony tail. Though I was unusually dressed for a tourist expedition, in my Harris tweed and black slacks, not in jeans, vest and fatigue jacket, I felt very much a kin to my generation gathered there. It is a poignant testimonial to the more than 50,000 that died in southeast Asia, each of their names inscribed on the black marble facade. Each time I go to DC I try and visit the Wall, and am always taken back to the days of the war. And here we are, another senseless war in which our young soldiers are being sent to their graves, or are returning home mutilated and traumatized. The impact this war will have on this generation will no doubt be profound. The cost of this war even greater than WWII, when we had a real enemy, not the ephemeral global terrorist threat, that has actually be unleashed by this action. In 25 more years, perhaps I will visit the Iraq war memorial with my son, and we can ponder the idocacy of war. George W Bush's legacy will have scarred America forever, and it will be up to my son's generation, hopefully too young to serve in this arena, to restore America's dignity. We used to be respected in the world, now we are dispised. We had a balanced budget and a surplus 6 years ago, and the economy was surging to all time highs, and now, due to the inept and failed policies of the war mongering Republicans, we are on the brink of finacial ruin. The American Dream-- to own a home-- forget that, just hope to have enough to feed your family, and hope against hope you don't need health care. We know killing Iraqis is far more important than caring for our own people. And forget about funding biomedical research, a.k.a "pork" according to Bush. When his doctors discover his PSA levels are elevated and find that he has early stage prostate cancer that can easily be cured-- he will of course not be thankful for the NIH budget that Clinton passed, when the big break through in prostate cancer happened. No, he will instead think about his own personal wealth, and that of his rich buddies, glad that he had the wisdom to go to war with Iraq. Forget about the poor suffering women who have yet to benefit from early detection of their ovarian cancer. That research was NOT able to be afforded under his watch, it was pork. Paying Blackwater billions of dollars to protect Sheiks so that he could feed America's addiction to oil though, could be afforded.

On another note, the mild weather continues and this morning at 6:30 I rode in with my gal pals down Washington, the first time I'v taken that route, and it was great. A bike lane the whole way and little traffic. None of the denizens of the west side were on the sidewalk, no homeless shelter dwellers to great, no ice cream beckoning. We are being spoiled by this amazing weather. and the darkness for the ride home is not a problem. I know we are living on borrowed time here, surely the weather is going to change.

All that's left to do is smile, smile, smile....

Matthew P Hardy, 1957-2007

He's gone. Snuffed out in the prime of his life. My dear friend and colleague Matthew P Hardy. Matt died several hours after having completed the NYC marathon. He'd run 11 out of the last 12 NYC marathons and this event was the culmination of his running year. I'd hoped to lure him to Chicago to run the marathon with me here, and he flirted with the idea, but he was dedicated to his annual run in the Big Apple. The ironic tome from the good old Grateful Dead comes to mind with this loss. He's gone. Finis. The finality and completeness of death is never easy to accept. My first thought was about me not running any more marathons. One in a million chance, eh? Wouldn't that just be a terribly selfish thing of me to do, to indulge my passion for running marathons even as a crippled old geezer now-- and cost my family their husband and father? Whose to say Matt wouldn't have been felled by a coronary when he went up the stairs from the subway? There is no way to know. Words are inadequate to describe the loss the world has suffered with the death of Matt. He was kind, gentle, refined, sophisticated and so urbane. He loved living in upper east side and had worked at the Population Council at Rockefeller University since 1991. We have come up through the ranks together, starting our independent careers at about the same time. He was the editor of both volumes of The Leydig Cell in which I contributed a chapter. It was a joy working with him. He was one of the world experts on Leydig cells. There just aren't very many of us around, and now the preeminent one has gone onto the other shore. I am going to miss you Matt. Even though our communications were sporadic, we had an active collaboration and his vision was the guiding light for many of the projects we proposed. A 50 year old man in the prime of his life and at the peak of his career should not be taken from us. We were going to grow old and publish many books and papers together. I promise to dedicate my next publication to Matt, for what ever that's worth. My heart goes out to Diane, his closest friends and students, and all of us who knew him and were touched by his magnificence. His obit.